Hi,

It would be very cool if a few of you could give this series a good look, followed by a critique. http://whoiszhon.com/ The URL is "Who is Zhon", but even after working on this (editor, sound, effects and graphics) for more than a year and a half, I don't know where it fits into the web series landscape. So the real question is "What is Zhon"? 

Here is the trailer for a quick 3 minute overview of the series- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKmipNX8cGU ...there, it is described as an "episodic" series, but that's a misnomer. It's a serial. A 3 hour and 40 minute film, that is being delivered in 22 installments.

The website and now 6 episodes have been up for 6 weeks, but there have only been 1400 total episode views. This series cannot be found on any other platforms, so I haven't seen any feedback or critiques to date. To accurately judge it, you really need to watch at least a few episodes...as you probably would with any series, but this series is very patient.. perhaps to a fault.

It's Sci-Fi, but I'm not sure it will appeal to the true Sci-Fi crowd at least in this first season. It's drama, but it's a gradual build up of intensity. It's comedic, but the humor is almost completely rated PG all the way to the end.  

I know everybody has given their all on the project...it's nearly killed me. We are close to done with everything in post-production for every ep, and just releasing steadily through mid-November.

I'm far too close to these trees to grade if this thing is ever going to truly fly. Thanks in advance to those who investigate and share their thoughts on the series so far.

-chris v    

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Chris shalom,

I'll admit that I do not have a lot of knowledge in this industry. I can give you my ideas as a viewer. I watched the first episode. And my impression is that the series is much invested: Lot of actors, good filming, good lighting, and good music.

What is the story you are telling?! I think that you have not decided. Is it a Science Fiction one? Is it comedy? Is it drama? It is not clear, thus, as a viewer I got confused.

In order for a story to catch me as a viewer you need to light my interest. You need to put a lot of hooks to withdraw my attention. You ended the first episode with a hook, the story about China, but, it is not interesting. Sorry to say, I will not "fight" to look more on this series.

The story is not logical. Well, why will an alien go to the police or any other bureau if he or she wishes to speak with a reporter?

The alien has a lot of powers why should he do what he is doing?

In London, can't the alien vanish? Why should he be humiliated by those two drunks?!

I believe that you need to work on the story. All other components are great. The story is not good.

That's my opinion.

There is a saying in Hebrew. In free translation: "if you catch a lot you did not catch at all".

I do hope it will help you.

All the best,

Arik

http://www.AriksWorld.com

to laugh a lot

Thanks Arik,

Yes, I totally agree. The writing...the story is not the greatest. It does gradually get better and more intense as the series progresses, but getting people to stick with the series will be tough.

I didn't come onto the series until after everything was shot. And while I would love to do some re-writing followed by some reshooting to bump up some of the weak spots...it's not going to happen.

It is supposed to be both a comedy AND a drama. I worried about that aspect of the series the whole time I was cutting it. Maybe it'll find an audience, but your comments are probably a harbinger that'll be voiced by many who watch it.

Chris shalom,

So, how can I help you?

Arik

http://www.AriksWorld.com

to laugh a lot

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